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US Dems and GOP can be thankful this Thanksgiving
What are Republicans and Democrats thankful for this holiday season?
Democrats are thankful for three Republicans named Mehmet Oz, Don Bolduc and Blake Masters, who lost three winnable Senate seats in Arizona, New Hampshire, and Pennsylvania, allowing Democrats to keep their majority. Democrats keep the majority; it means they can continue to confirm judges and confirm any executive branch nominees that President Biden puts forward should there be any openings. These were clearly winnable seats for the Republicans in this cycle that should have strongly favored them, but we saw Trump aligned nominees like these three give up winnable seats.
Republicans are thankful that there are alternatives emerging to President Donald Trump in the Republican primary in 2024. President Trump has declared his intention to run. However, three Republican governors, Brian Kemp, Ron DeSantis, and Greg Abbott had very strong showings in their reelection cycles this year and that's going to embolden challengers to Trump in the primary, and this could be a very competitive primary, giving them some alternatives to Trump, given that there's a growing number of Republicans who think he can't win a general election. Now, of course, the challenge will be, can these guys win if Trump decides that he's not going to support them should he lose the primary? But that's a question for another day.
Now, Republicans and Democrats are thankful that they're not going to be spending their holiday seasons relitigating false claims of election fraud the way they did in 2020. President Trump in 2020 claimed that the election was rigged and stolen from him. He refused to concede, and that really dominated the news cycle from Thanksgiving all the way through the January six riots, which were a terrible day for most lawmakers that were present. That's not going to happen this cycle. No one's really questioning the results of these elections. There were some questions about some voting machines malfunctioning in Arizona, but for the most part, this is a pretty clean election, and everyone understands that the legitimate ballots that were cast led to a legitimate outcome, a good day for American democracy. It's something that we should all be thankful for.
World leaders: Thanks for nothing!
This Thursday, many of our readers — particularly in the US — will celebrate Thanksgiving.
At worst, it’s a day to argue with your relatives about super-chill topics like climate change, racism, abortion, or cancel culture (here’s a useful guide for that.)
But at best, it’s an opportunity to take a moment, look around, and recognize the things you’re grateful for in this life.
And it’s not just you — our world leaders have much to be thankful for as well. Here, then, is a partial list of global gratitude:
US President Joe Biden: God love ya, Donald, I’m grateful you’re gonna run again! You’re probably the only fella I can beat in 2025, I mean ‘24. Don’t you go messing this up, Florida Gov. Ronda Sannis!
Former US President Donald Trump: Even though I am still VERY unfairly treated by the FAKE media and radical left psychopaths who are doing so much to ruin our beautiful COUNTRY, I am grateful that I continue to be the person I admire most: ME. #Trump2024
Qatar’s Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad al Thani:Shukran! We are so thankful to the billions of fans who aren’t fazed by our little kingdom’s human rights fiascos and dodgy FIFA dealings — and we’re especially grateful that the world’s second-largest economy is among them.
Twitter boss Elon Musk: Hey so yeah thanks for the extremely hard work of the 18 guys — literally all guys — who still work for me here. But what I’d REALLY like is can Trump get back on Twitter already? Kanye is good LOLs, sure — but I need more mayhem to make this $44 billion worth it.
Taiwanese President Tsai Ing-wen: Just grateful for the immense difference that a well-placed strait makes. For now …
Chinese leader Xi Jinping: For now indeed, Ms. Tsai. For my part, I’m thankful that COVID — wherever it came from — had an upside! It’s been a capital excuse to lock down a billion or so people and show the Party “Hu’s” boss.
Former German Chancellor Angela Merkel: To be honest, I happy to just be OUT of all this mess entirely. Keeping my notifications OFF. Noch eine Piña Colada, bitte!
Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman: Nature is a wonder, a gift. Today I’m grateful to the sedimentary deposits of the prehistoric Tethys Ocean, which — so many hundreds of millions of years later — have helped my country to get rich, and enabled me to get away with ... oh, you know, stuff …
Argentine President Alberto Fernández:Gracias a Messi and the squad for getting humiliated by Saudi Arabia. You have given the Argentines something even worse than the economy to be depressed about for the next week.
North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un: I am grateful to the sea for so graciously putting up with the missiles that I fire into it – constantly, angrily, pointlessly. WHY IS NO ONE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME? WHY?
Brazilian President-elect Lula: I am now a card-carrying member of the Pandemic Gratitude Club founded by Joe Biden. If not for COVID, I don’t think either of us would have won. Obrigadão!
Philippine President Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos, Jr: Not only am I grateful for the world’s best nickname, I also can’t thank today’s Filipino youth enough. They have no idea who my dad was, so they all voted for me! Bongbong loves the kids!
UK PM Rishi Sunak: Grateful indeed to have made it past the “head-of-lettuce” stage of my premiership. Still, it was perhaps foolish to give up swimming through my pools of gold coins just to take charge of the world’s sickest advanced economy.
South Africa’s former President Jacob Zuma: Grateful, my friends, for a little extra time by the pool before I head back to jail, again.
Italian PM Giorgia Meloni: I just want to say grazie mille to Matteo Salvini, whose self-destructive antics have opened so very many opportunities for me. But Silvio, you stay the hell away from me…
Signal writers: We’re grateful to have the best job and readers in the world. It’s a pleasure to write for you and to chat/spar with those of you who write in — either to show love or (especially) to take issue with our work.
You: What are you, dear reader, grateful for? Let us know here.This comes to you from the Signal newsletter team of GZERO Media. Sign up today.
The price of a Thanksgiving pardon
US President Joe Biden learns that pardoning turkeys in this economy ain’t easy.
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Peng Shuai, China's tennis star, appears safe but questions remain
Ian Bremmer shares his insights on global politics this week with a look at Peng Shuai's public appearance, El Salvador's "Bitcoin City," and Americans' Thanksgiving celebrations.
Why has China silenced its famous tennis player, Peng Shuai?
Well, they haven't completely silenced her in the sense that the head of the IOC, the International Olympic Committee with Beijing Olympics coming up, basically told the Chinese government, "hey, what is the absolute minimum that you can do so that we can get Beijing Olympics back on track?" And they did the absolute minimum, which was a half an hour phone call with her that felt like kind of a hostage phone call. But nonetheless, she says that she is fine and is private and doesn't want to talk about the fact that she had accused the former Vice Premier of sexually assaulting her. That is a fairly heady charge. It was clear, going to get a lot of headlines in the run-up to the Olympics. And she wasn't heard from after that. So big problem for the Chinese in the run-up to the Olympics.
What's the deal with the planned "Bitcoin City" in El Salvador?
Where they announced they're going to have this city, that's going to be financed by Bitcoin and it's going to be powered by a volcano and that's how they're going to do the mining in El Salvador. The first country in the world that is moving towards Bitcoin as currency, because they want to get away from their peg to the dollar. And because they're having a problem with the ability to get any more money from the IMF. It's hugely popular. This President, Bukele who has about 90% approval, young guy, kind of a tech bro, calls himself CEO of El Salvador, as opposed to President, whatever. This is really just a bet on Bitcoin. He is literally betting the future of the country on the notion that Bitcoin is going to go to the moon. And we all know that's not true, that's Dogecoin, right? But anyway, I wouldn't be playing casino with my national bank reserves, but I'm not CEO of El Salvador. So let's see how that works out for him.
It's Thanksgiving week in the US this week. This year, what should Americans be thankful for?
How about those of us that ordered turkey early? Huh? Yeah. Be thankful about that. Because we got those turkeys. When the people that didn't get their act together, they're going to get stupid scrawny turkey. You're going to get pork. You're going to get lamb. It's going to be horrible. But hey, we're with family, with friends, we're getting through COVID and I'm glad we're all here.
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The Graphic Truth: This day dwarfs Black Friday
Black Friday in the US is no longer the most lucrative day globally for online sales. Less than a decade ago, it was overtaken by Singles Day, an unofficial shopping holiday for unmarried people in China championed by Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba. Alibaba's competitor JD has since entered the fray, and now both independently exceed the performance of US online retailers on America's big annual internet spending spree around Thanksgiving. Still, China's population size is more than four times that of the US, and Chinese online shoppers spend a lot less per capita than Americans. We look at online sales on Alibaba and JD compared to those in the US on Thanksgiving Day, Black Friday and Cyber Monday combined.
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Biden's turkey fail
The US President is just trying to keep tradition, but he's a little out of touch.
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So, what is Vladimir Putin thankful for?
Not everyone celebrates the US holiday of Thanksgiving, but we've all got something to be grateful for in this awful year, right? So as Americans gather around the table — or the Zoom — to give thanks on Thursday, here's what a few world leaders are grateful for at the moment.
Donald Trump, US President
Very strongly grateful that although my legal appeals are MELTING faster than my attorney's hair dye, tens of millions of people still believe my claims of election fraud. That will be very useful to me in my next reality TV project — stay tuned! BIG RATINGS!
Vladimir Putin, President of Russia
I'm grateful that although Trump lost, he has done more to delegitimize American democracy and institutions in the past four years — four weeks even! — than I could manage in a lifetime. Separately, I think Turkey is highly overrated.
Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany
Unfortunately there is not (yet) a German word for "the feeling when you are thankful that although you are retiring next year after 15 years of running Germany you are at least reasonably happy that the transatlantic relationship, troubled as it is, might be on an upswing now that Biden won."
The Coronavirus, Pandemic-in-Chief
Not psyched about all this vaccine news, but "it is what it is," as they say. At the very least I'm thankful that it could still take years to distribute globally. Now, let's sit down to dinner shall we? Come a little closer, can't quite hear what you are saying ...
Xi Jinping, President of China
Thankful to have shared 2020 with my dear friend Donald. If it weren't for him, our COVID coverup, Hong Kong crackdown, Xinjiang repression, and all those faulty PPE products we shipped to Europe would have made me the world's most hated person.
Kamala Harris, VP-elect of the US
Thankful for the chance to put on these Converse All-Stars and walk all over the haters for the next four years.
Abiy Ahmed, PM of Ethiopia
Thankful that the Nobel Committee gave me that peace prize two years before I threatened earlier this week to kill civilians in my deepening conflict with Tigray rebels.
Boris Johnson, PM of the UK
Well it's been a bloody awful year. Brexit, then Covid. Then more COVID — and now COVID and Brexit at the same time. And 2021 doesn't look much better with that sleepy Irish bloke in the White House. At the very least I'm grateful that Americans are obsessed with The Crown.
Jair Bolsonaro, President of Brazil
I'm grateful that no matter how outrageously I behave, 30 percent of Brazilians will always have my back. Is that enough to win again in 2022? We'll see.
Recep Tayyip Erdogan, President of Turkey
Ha ha, very funny. President of "Turkey" has to comment, eh? No! By the way, Vladimir, I saw that comment above — you better have been talking about the bird, which is legitimately bland and overrated, like Russia.
Narendra Modi, PM of India
Thankful that we will probably start getting those H1B visas back again. But if Biden goes wobbly on China we will NOT be happy. By the way, agree with Recep on the turkey — why don't you, like, put some decent spices on that?
Benjamin Netanyahu, PM of Israel
Just a word of gratitude for the carte blanche that Trump gave me these past four years — on settlements, on Palestine, on the Golan Heights, on Jerusalem — because let me tell you, without him in the White House, things are about to get a lot harder for me.
Ayatollah Khamenei, Supreme Leader of Iran
Great Satan is Great Satan, no matter how you slice that turkey, but we are pretty thankful that Joe Biden won. At least there is a chance to revive the Iran deal and get rid of some of these sanctions. Still, Death to America! Death!
Alexander Lukashenko, President of Belarus
Thankful to Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro for showing me the way: despite months of protests, sanctions, and general global hate over my blatant theft of the election in August, my security services are sticking with me and I'm not going anywhere.
Trump’s turkey pardon, disputed
President Trump's Thanksgiving Day turkey pardoning doesn't exactly go according to plan when the condemned critter cries fowl.